transparent, random thoughts

okay, so this has kind of been a deflating week. miscommunications on the field, financial stuff, missing our baby girl niece who's growing without us, finding out the girl we'd thought we might adopt just had another family "pick" her, getting only one donation to our adoption fund... just imagine a balloon slowly deflating... heh. where are we? why? what are Your plans and purposes? what's next? what's now? I guess in the middle of the questions is where faith grows the most? all we can do is trust Him and His good work in our lives. ~be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, and faithful in prayer.~ build us, grow us, make us strong. be our Hope.

at the end of his sermon on sunday, the pastor reminded us:
-God is good.
-God loves you.
-God knows your need.

good to hear the basics all over again sometimes.

sometimes I find myself thinking: I hope someone's praying for us, then I am reminded... someone else is probably thinking that same thing right now. who needs me to pray for them now? Holy Spirit, show me who needs my prayers. that would be a much more productive, powerful thing for me to do, huh?

fix your eyes on Jesus.
set your hearts at rest in His presence.
God has good plans.
wait. and see.
enjoy now.

we feel like we've obeyed. we've tried to do what God's put on our hearts and set before us. time. timing. I read this week that just like His eye is on the sparrow, it's also on the wrist watch... He's got time under control, too. after we've done all we know to do, we just have to perch on the edge and wait for the "go". wait for the "see". in the meantime... He says know Me. know Jesus better.

I swing between totally trusting and being completely impatient. *dislike* steady me, Lord. let me find satisfaction in You. joy in now. peace in your presence. thank You that You are our Rock. You are patient with me. thank You for Your good plans.

I'm doing Beth Moore's Esther study now... good for this time. destiny. I listened to her talk about how hard it is for a little girl to be an orphan and have no mama or papa... cried... now today her session 3 talk is about time and unfolding destiny/perfect timing - Esther 4:14 ...who knows? maybe you're here for such a time as this... who knows? God knows.

God knows. All powerful, all seeing, all knowing.
God knows.
One step at a time.
Who knows... turns into "I Know."

Empower us to do the impossible for Your glory.
(even if the impossible seems to be -wait and see!)