Bestamor

Bestamor and me
August 1996

The day we received $6,000 toward our adoption, said sad good-byes to our friends in Armenia, traveled for 30 hours, were reunited with our family and friends....  was the same day my grandma passed away.  Talk about a roller coaster ride of a day!   She was two weeks away from her 102nd birthday and she had been ready to be Home for a while.  So we're sad but happy for her!

I always called my grandma on my dad's side, "Bestamor".  Bestamor means Grandma in Norwegian.  And she was 100% Norwegian.  Her name was really Edna Cora (Knutson) Johnson.  When I was a little girl, I'd spend a week or two out at "the farm" in central North Dakota with my Bestamor and Grandpa (who was also all Norwegian).  I'd come back home from those visits and call out in my sleep, "Bestamor!  Bestamor!"  I guess we all know what I'd said a hundred times each day for the past two weeks!?  :)

My grandparents lived in a big ol' farm house that they bought right around the time my dad was born in 1940 and farmed the land around it.  There were about 5 or 6 rooms upstairs and then the kitchen, dinning room, living room, master bedroom downstairs.  I think Bestamor spent most of her time in the kitchen!?  She loved to cook and always made more than enough!

Every Thanksgiving, we'd drive to the farm to have our family celebration along with the huge meal.  Since both my parents are only children, it was easy for my whole family to get together.  So my mom's parents would always be there, too.  And usually Bestamor's sister and her husband, too.  There were always pies, always buns, always mashed potatoes and gravy, and of course, turkey.  Bestamor would put black olives and pickles on the table while they cooked in the kitchen and my brother, Blake, and I would have to eat one whenever we passed through the dining room!

May 1966

For Christmas, all my grandparents would come to our place in Williston.  Bestamor must have filled up the trunk of their car with cookies!  She'd bake and bake.  Bars and cookies and buns...  delish.  She's pack them up in coffee and Crisco containers.  After we'd celebrate Christmas, we'd all eat those expensive chocolates with different flavors or nuts in them...  I always tried to be extra cautious not to waste my couple picks on something gross like coffee!

Bestamor was strong.  She worked on a farm her whole life.  She dug in the gardens and hauled the crops or water around their big yard.  She was tough.  Once when I was there by myself during the summer, I asked her for some jello.  She didn't have any made so she climbed up on the counter to get out the little box to make some.  And she slipped off.  She landed on the floor, stood up holding her arm, and called to my grandpa, "Floyd, I think I broke my arm!"  I stood their eating the Red Hots that she'd given me, not really believing her.  Then Grandpa came out to see.  Yup.  It seemed broken!  She called to him as if she was telling him she'd made coffee or something.  Crazy lady!  :)

Whenever I was at the farm, I would get to do all kinds of fun outdoor things.  Bestamor and Grandpa had a red Radio Flyer wagon.  She would pull me all over the yard in that thing!  They had a tiny hill in their yard and I would pull it to the top and ride it down!  Whee!  :)  She would always let me help her water flowers and talk to me about the birds and squirrels and ladybugs.  We would wear matching sun hats.  They always grew a bunch of green peas.  I love peas in the pod!  I remember picking them and then sitting as a family on the porch, cracking open pods and eating peas as the sun set.  Grandpa had a loader type machine out on the farm.  They'd load Blake and I up in the front scoop, along with Bestamor and drive around the yard.  It was always fun.  Looking back at it, I wonder how that started!?  Heh.

Bestamor and Grandpa started letting me bring a friend along to the farm when I'd go out there for the summers.  I had a few different friends come along different summers.  Emily, Beth, Heather...  We loved just hanging out and exploring the farm.  Then one day, they'd drive us up to Minot, ND and take us to the zoo and to the pool with the slide.  Fun!  We'd eat ice cream bars and fruit for snacks and catch frogs down by the ditches or climb hay bales to watch the sunset.  They were so good to me.  Imagine their quiet farm life shaken up for a week in the summer with two young girls giggling around the place!

1909
Bestamor's the chubby baby on the left,
next to her twin brother.
Behind them ar her other brother and sister.
(she also had a baby brother)

Bestamor never drove!  She never had a license!  So Grandpa drove everywhere.  And that was just fine by her.  (But she never knew how to get anywhere, either, because she never had to pay attention!)  She would tell me that when she was growing up, her brothers would ride bike and the girls would watch and the boys went ice skating and the girls would watch!  Wow.  I wonder if I would have been able to just watch all those years ago.  Maybe it was just accepted and cultural then.  I can't imagine!  Ha!  :)

Bestamor kept marbles in a pringles container.  Had a doorbell that rang out songs.  Watered all her plants all the time.  Kept cattails as decorations.  Had empty blue vases in the window just because they were pretty.  Kept pictures of Blake and I all over the house from when we were born until the present.  Always had Tang and Squirt.  Always had cookies and coffee for "lunch" at 2.  Had a big bucket on the counter with a scoop in it for getting a drink.  (I know, unsanitary...)  Stood at the sink with Grandpa as they washed and dried dishes.  (I always thought it was kinda sweet...)  She let me play with my Dad's old toys...  horses and tractors and a porcelain doll that had been peed on.  She had a lamp looked like the images were moving because it rotated around the light so the water appeared to be trickling down the stream, etc.  Her sheets were always crisp.  She did her laundry in an old tub that squeezed the clothes out flat to get them dry and then, of course, hung them on the line.  They watched Hee Haw and loved those old corny jokes.  Readers Digest.  Newspapers.  Country magazines.  She usually had pins stuck in the side of her chair so she could use them for whatever project she was working on.  She crocheted cool things like dolls and puppies and bears.  She made a really big doll that I just found in the closet here.  It's maybe 3 feet tall and has a pink dress and her hair is brown ringlets.  Hannie thinks it's really cool!

Blankets.  Bestamor made tons of them!  Now that we're back in the US and even living in the house she lived in in Williston, we are surrounded, and covered, with her crotched blankets.  Heavy, warm, and colorful!  I love it.

Bestamor was a letter writer.  We must have written to each other nearly every week.  Again, living here, I've found lots of letters that I've written to her over the years.  They are interesting to read.  I ask her about flowers and weather and doctor visits, tell her about the kids and college and Kevin and Blake.  I thank her for helping get us through college!  Education was important to her even though she only went to school through eighth grade.

It's been interesting flipping through some of Bestamor's journals.  She wrote about 5 sentences, or phrases, really, about each day.  Every day!  Every day she wrote about the weather (farmer).  Highs and lows.  She wrote about who stopped by or called.  "Jimmy stopped."  She wrote about if she cleaned this room or that spot, got a haircut, went for a walk...  She said so little and still, a lot.  I saw on my wedding day the high was 102, I was a beautiful bride and Kevin was a handsome groom.  :)  She got her hair done.  Reading through them makes me smile.  I can just picture each of those days.  "Sat on he patio."  "Shoveled the walk."  "Baked buns."

our last Christmas all together...  2008
Bestamor, surrounded by family

Bestamor had a beautiful smile.  She always told me that her older sister, Alva, was the pretty one.  That always kinda made me mad, or protective, or something...  How many years had she'd thought that?  Bestamor was a beautiful lady and even more beautiful inside.  She never complained.  She even would say, "Can't complain." if you asked her how she was... even when her arm was broken.  She read her Bible every day.  Went to church with Grandpa faithfully.  Made quilts to give away.  Made goodies to share.  Helped others.  Smiled.

After Bestamor's funeral, Hannie said she hoped people would say all that nice stuff about her someday. Me, too.

(~these pics were just some that I found on my computer...  wish I'd found the one of the farm to share with you, too...  I'll look!)  ;)